The Two F-Words EVERYONE Hates
Disclaimer: I am a Certified Financial Educator. Although, I am studying to become a fiduciary, these opinions are my own.
Today, this article is solely thinking of women in mind. Women are the sole providers for many families. Women also represent half of the workforce. But there are so many statistics that can published that discusses the lack of pay, gender equity, the me-too movement, etc. It can be shame overload. This article is to empower you and make you think about how you can create a mini movement.
Movements happen in unorthodox ways so let’s tackle our finances, so we can create true equality
There are two words that make people cringe. Feminism and finances. These words can make or break dinner conversations, they can ruin relationships, and unfortunately lack of information can bring people into a rabbit hole of misunderstanding. For the purpose of this article, where going to looking at two ideas, one being feminism and two finances. Lastly, we’ll provide takeaways to help you empower your feminine money story.
Feminism means that women are equal and can achieve the same economic, political, and personal treatment, A true feminist is someone who believes that women can and deserves equal rights as a man.
Although, we wear shirts that scream out that we are equal most of us don’t identify as feminist. In fact, only 33.5 percent of millennials identify as feminist. In Finding Feminism: Millennial Activists and the Unfinished Gender Revolution, uncovered this statistic about Millennial women. Now keep in mind this statistic occurred right before the Weinstein fiasco. But that is a flippin small statistic. Yikes! Plus y’all know Beyonce would flip a lid if she read this.
As I look back I realized that I completely understand this statistic because sadly, I was a feminist hater for a long time.
During my time at the most liberal college in the United States (UC Berkeley) I couldn’t stand feminist or any of “their agenda.” For me I didn’t think that feminism wasn’t an option for me.
My inclination of being a feminist hater started in college when my best friend Jen Chang and I met Black Hippy. Black Hippy was radical, Jewish, and a queer woman. Black Hippy was an in your face kind of girl and she would always use every ethic card that I could even imagine.
Is it because I’m a black woman? You wouldn’t know from telling that I am a Jewish woman. As a Lesbian I...
Every day Jen and I dreaded our sociology class because the social dynamics looked a little something like this:
1) Sociologist class would default our professor telling us an unfortunate event.
2) A white guy wearing an REI sweater stating how he felt about a situation
3) Black Hippy led into as a fill in the blank person....
As you can tell we got annoyed pretty quickly, the thing that was the icing on the cake was when Black Hippy told us about her trust fund....
As a black woman in the milieu of poverty. You wouldn’t know that I am Jewish and grew up with a trust fund. Most people think that I am poor based off my skin color and in the milieu of it all I am outrage.
Jen and I were furious that we rushed to Denny’s to discuss this crap. As we stuffed our faces with the Ultimate Grand Slam, and we complained. We were furious that not only was she militant, but she was a limousine liberal. We were so pissed. In my early twenties I categorized feminism as a militant or being a Angelina Jolie limousine liberal.
Since I didn’t have money and I wasn’t militant I didn’t think feminism was for me. I thought it was keep your black identity and not refer yourself as a woman... So, I kept my head down and I didn’t ask any questions. I think this most women have interactions with feminism. Meaning that we don’t have many opportunities to discuss what feminism looks like.
It’s a financial thing y’all
Money is a tricky topic for all people simply because it is EMOtional. It’s so emotional that there is a type of therapy for money. Yes, there is a financial therapy community. There’s Debtor Anonymous. Money affects us in so many ways and it effects our mental health.
If we really break down feminism, it’s the ability to be equal. If we don’t feel equal, then we won’t make equal pay.
There are a couple of excuses by Money Mag that lay out our mindsets towards women and equal pay. Keep in men these “rules” were also said by women too L.
1. Women can’t work harder than men
2. Children change women and they leave the workforce
3. Ask for more money
4. Men are more educated
5. Men pick higher paying career
We can go into detail, but truth be told, we know that all of this is total Bullshit. We know that 40 percent of women are the primary breadwinners and that’s not even to mention single women that makes their own money.
Believing that all ABLED body person has the ability to receive equal pay regardless of their race, religion, orientation.
We’ve taken a huge leap to discuss equal pay. There has been an increase in the world, a woman earns an average 80 cents for every dollar they make. This isn’t the best, but it better than it was even ten years ago. Companies like Pinterest and SAP are very vocal about equal pay. The Institute for Women’s Policy and research released a 2017 study that stated poverty would be cut in half if women received equal pay.
The first step to pushing these gaps even closer is stating that YOU are a financial feminist.
Say it with me I ( state your name) believe that all women should be paid equally. I deserve equal pay! Or in a Rih Rih way....
Bitch, better have my money
There are small financial steps that you can take to charge of your financial feminism.
Making Real Money Moves. Steps to Activate Your Money
1. Find your Financial BFFs.
All boss babes have financial best friends. Do you have a house, business, or job? If you can answer yes to one or more then you might get a lawyer. Lawyers get a bad rep, but they can be great financial bffs. Getting a lawyer, may be as simple as requesting a consultation which are 99% free and building a rapport with someone who is a professional. There will always emergencies, having a lawyer can help ease any legal issue that pops up.
If you can’t get to a lawyer in place at least have Legal Zoom in your wheel house. Legal Zoom helps women with many legal options, from drafting a will to starting a business legally. Legal Zoom offers a flat fee for each legal designation.
Accountants are another financial best friend. Personally, I was terrified of accountants. Little did I know that accountants are gangsters. Have you ever had a relative or a friend that would go to a store and haggle for a cheaper price? That is what an accountant does but for your budget.
2. Hold a forgiveness party
This is probably the most woo-woo request out of all them. As women, we were always taught to hold our emotions in. Always smile and be nice. These emotions are translated to money too. We all have money story from our mother, father, etc., but how do we actually feel about our money story? Are we crushing it? Or are we constantly, trying to put a financial smile on. These are the questions that we have to start asking ourselves.
This is where a forgiveness party takes place.
A forgiveness party is a party where you and your friends write down your money story down and burn your story. For those of you that are unaware of money story, it’s where one writes down their past experiences. Writing down your money moments allow you to visually see what real thoughts you have about money. Writing through life has a week worth’s of money story writing prompts to help you figure out your money story. One of most, memorial writing prompts is:
If money was your lover, would you still be dating them?
After you write down your thoughts about money, read the thoughts out loud. Reading your money stories, will be one of the humbling experiences that you will have. One of the reasons is that money creates vulnerability around people. Having you a-ha money stories is just as important as any moment. After your story. Burn that mother up!
Burning letters have a significant feeling
As someone who is an ENTJ and doesn’t like to get woo, woo. I realized that writing down my money story was just important as writing as resume. When I first wrote my money story about two years ago, I realized that there were some positive money moments in my life but.... I also realized that I had a fear of abandonment with my money story.
My first thought about money is that money was going leave me. Some people that have abandonment issues stem from divorce or a parent moving away. Learning about my money story also helped me with my relationship story. Anytime I dated someone I tried to sabotage the relationship before it even started.
3. Write a Job Reflection
Updating your resume is good. Writing a Job Reflection is even better. It doesn’t matter if you’re a business owner or a server, you acquire skills every day. Be it conflict management, or coding, we often times forget simple things as learning how to send an autoresponder via email or learning how to meal prep (that’s an organization skill, y’all).
Writing down a list of things that you’ve learn on a google doc or a piece of paper will help you understand that your skills are valuable. You have valuable skills that you should celebrate. Have coffee with a recruiter. Ask around recruiters, to see what are the job responsibilities of your job? See if you have acquired those skills. Uncover what people get paid to do your job at other companies.
4. Money book club
Book clubs enhance your community and conversation. Starting a money book club helps you enhance your money muscle. If you already belong to a book club recommend a money book. If money book clubs are non-existent in your community. Hop over to our Facebook group Money and Flow book club. We are reading The Broke and Beautiful Life by Stefanie O’Connell.
5. Understand your Financial Ladder
If you’re sick you go to the doctor’s office. If you get in a car accident you call your insurance agency. Why not look at your money if you’re feeling stuck on the financial train. There are different ways to seek help and guidance for money.
There’s a Financial Coach, Adviser, or a Certified Financial Planner. There’s a difference between each of the financial cheerleaders, and together we’ll break them down.
A financial coach looks at habits and systems. They analyze your budget and help you understand and unlock your money habits and expenses. They typically have a pretty affordable rate to help.
A financial Adviser is someone who is more on the transactional side. Financial Advisors have a wide spectrum of services, but it mostly product-focused. has at the other end of the spectrum are services provided by financial advisors that may be hands-off and purely transactional or product-focused. If you want to get mutual funds you could speak to someone that works for Vanguard.
Certified Financial Planner swore under oath to look after the clients best interest. Like a Lawyer, CFPs must take a financial test with a board. CFPs have the ability to look at habits and systems and offer recommendations based off of your goals.